About Me

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I'm happily married, have 2 adult children and 4 beautiful little grandchildren. I am a Full Time Witch who practices the "Craft of the Wise" every single day. Nature is ny Church! I love to read tarot for others as well as using other forms of divination. Such as working with spirits, daemons and the angels themselves. As well as working with my Patron Goddess whom has helped me in so many different pathworkings. I also do Spellwork for clients to help them in so many ways to live a full and more empowered life as well as House Cleansings etc. I also love to write, a lot. Lol Not only blogging. Lol I'm currently working on 2 books atm. I am a total Bibliophile and have studied all things Occult as well as also experiencing & studying all the worlds major religions and belief systems. Everything from all the Abrahamic Faiths to Shamanism in early tribal societies. My greatest influences from the Occult world are the late great Austin Osman Spare, Aleister Crowley, Dion Fortune, Madame Blavatsky & Mathers. Newer Occultists/Mages or Witches are Christopher Penszak, Kostantinos, Sorceress Cagliastro, Lori Bruno, Lady Hecate, Michael Ford and Phil Hine. If you would like me to do a reading for you? Or you need some "magickakal" assistance in anyway?Please just send me a PM via Google+ & then I will email you privately. Blessed Be & thank you for reading my profile. May you live a totally magickal life!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

My Near Death Experience Part I

On the 14th July 2011, I had what is known as a Near Death Experience. Please don't judge me because I was having a small cone of medicinal hemp, which I only use very occasionally when my pain gets completely out of control and nothing else will relieve it.

Below is a copy of an email I sent to a close friend, the day after it happened. I'm glad I kept it now as it captures the emotions, feelings and experiences etc. that I went through. After you've all had time to take this in I will add my next blog about my NDE.

Again sorry I have been away for so long, and please leave any comments on what you think? Good or bad about NDE or anything that you may have experienced like it. Read on .............................

I will tell you more details as my mind processes everything I went through yesterday. I nearly died because a hunk of hot “resin” from the bottom of my cone went through my dope pipe, nearly choked me to death. All because SA has made it “illegal to buy them”. It has nearly cost me my life.
My husband, was working on me for 15 minutes he reckons. I was coughing my guts up, but I could not get any air in or out. Eventually I couldn't feel my legs or arms. Then finally the trunk of my body went limp and I felt him tightly holding me around the chest as he was taking all my body weight. Then my head dropped into the sink and if not for Pmy husband I would have been on the ground and died from it. One of the first senses to go was my hearing, the others, then my sight, my head dropped into the kitchen sink so heavily, then I felt nothing, everything went black and then I was gone.
My brain is still trying to process everything I went through. Its very hard to confide in people about something as personal as a near death experience. I learnt so much and was an incredible experience and as I finally let go, I didn't want to come back. My spirit was expanded and I had the knowledge of the infinite and the most incredible feeling of love, bliss, just everything was so incredibly awesome.......human words don’t do it justice.
It was scary at first and my consciousness, my spirit or soul, just kept on expanding and involved different levels of light. I felt so perfect there in eternal bliss. I didn't want to come back. I gradually heard my husband's voice yelling and crying out to me “I love you, don’t leave me now, fight it c’mon you know you can just breathe for me because I love you, and suddenly everything went backwards and my spirit went back into my body and the first sense that came back was hearing then touch and very slowly my body, bit by bit. I was still blind and that frightened me.
When I finally did go blind I felt like everything in this world is so crap in comparison to where I was going. We live in only 3 dimensions, I was entering into hundreds it not thousands. The force, or the one, or spirit or god, or whatever people want to call it is absolutely incredibly knowledgeable, expansive, loving and blissful. My mere mortal words can’t describe it adequately.
As it only happened yesterday. My mind is still trying to process everything that happened to me. Its so much for the human brain to take. I feel like I shouldn't be here. I should be there. Wherever there is.
One things, I am never going to be so afraid of death now. There is this incredible force that you are impelled to become one with. I know I sound nuts, but hell, what I am telling you really happened.
I went to the drs today and she reckons my neuro obs are fine. So why am I so weak from the waist down I can hardly move and when I do walk, I veer to the left. I keep on making typos and have to correct them so much now. My mind is not functioning properly. She reckoned that even today, I am still in shock and so is my central nervous system.
I shouldn't be online now, but I have been trying to distract my brain all day from thinking about this. As soon as I try and sleep. “wham everything hits me like a tonne of bricks”.
From what I’ve read most people that have NDE’s often take weeks, months and sometime even years for some people. Because what is experienced is far too fantastical for our brains to take in....it truly is. However I can say that I truly “know”, not just think, that there is “life after death”. I realise some will be skeptical, but be kind as I have been through such an incredible trauma.
My throat and esophecus are so sore and my body is so weak. Its so damn hard to get back to normal. If not for Pete holding me up and thumping my back and forcing me to keep on coughing up with no inbreathe for 15 mins is fantastic of him. Iam also very bruised around my chest where he held my entire body weight as I was literally a “dead weight”.
To be honest it was my husband's voice that I started vaguely hearing that brought me back to the land of the living, truly. His love and determination saved me.
I hate to think that I would have been dead had he not been around to do First Aid. He saved me with his love and I’m still coming to terms to living in this finite world. I feel so heavy lugging this old body around, like a huge weight. I was weightless free and ever expanding.
I also had a vision of myself in a coffin only 5 minutes before it happened.. I ignored it and used CBT to get rid of it, and thought “its just a negative thought forget it”.......yet it was a warning to me. I also astral travelled in my sleep for the first time ever the night before and I flew everywhere, it was incredible. Yet another sign often that the soul is going somewhere.
Don’t know what else to say? I’m not nuts. Just had a NDE, which they say people remember for a lifetime no matter what!
This is the end of the email, which I wrote to a close friend. I'm glad I kept it. As there is no way I could still feel exactly the same as the day after having a near death experience.
I have another email that I wrote to another friend a couple of days later which I will publish next time. Then I will write about how it affected me, and is still affecting me to this day. Even though right now I'm going through a tough time with someone I love who is very ill.
Well thanks for reading my blog and let me know if you have one on Blogspot as well that I can check out.
Blessed Be.